A couple of years ago I experienced heartbreak in a way that is still unfathomable to me. In fact, I often wonder how any part of my soul is still in tact as I feel it was stolen from me at times. (A feeling I’m sure we can all relate to at some point in life.) When the major shock finally subsides and you are left feeling paralyzed on the floor, it can feel like you are left with two choices: Choosing to live or choosing to die. I think once you’ve experienced enough failures or heartbreaks in your life, you become familiar with the drill. You know it will be utterly painful for a while. You’ll experience numbness, sadness and anger. You’ll have days where you are seemingly moving forward only to find you have moved ten steps backwards the next day. But as enough time passes, the days you move backwards are a mere three steps rather than ten and thankfully those days become less and less. Ever since I was a little girl, my father always told me he wished he could wave a magic wand for me when life wasn’t being so kind. This time I dug deep and created my own magic wand and the results have been incredibly triumphant.
I became a full-on vegetarian March of 2014 after a Tony Robbins retreat, which was a couple of months after the heartbreak. (By the way, if you ever get the opportunity to see him live, do it!) I used to eat chicken/turkey twice a day but surprisingly it was not difficult to give up despite being the poster girl of a low-carb diet. (I have always adored fruits and veggies so maybe that’s why.) What was hard to give up were the milk chocolate chips! I loved making a trail mix with Chex, milk chocolate chips and sometime nuts or M&M’s; It so was bad! It took me a solid year to become vegan in April of 2015 and I haven’t looked back. I would say 95% of the time I eat raw foods consisting of luscious fruit, salads, green juices/smoothies, sprouted nuts and seeds and raw desserts (my favorite!). I may have given up my life-long love affair with milk chocolate but I still get to eat chocolate just in raw form! (Do these raw brownies look like I am deprived in any way?!)
So what does this all have to do with heartbreak? I have found it’s difficult to permanently change your eating habits until you make peace with your demons and invariably, once you start mending your inner struggles, your desire to eat well increases exponentially. I wanted to go vegan in 2011. It was a very tough time for me which made it damn near impossible to embark on a better way of living/eating. It took deep heartbreak, a door slammed in the face to finally make a choice and that’s when I decided to live. You know the trite expression, “you have to love yourself first?” An expression I have heard my whole life and honestly thought I had already embraced. Ummm no, I didn’t understand the true meaning until I started healing myself though alternative therapies (reiki, hypnotherapy, past-life regression) and raw foods. Because the truth of the matter is, when you truly love yourself you will no longer be able to abuse your body with food, drugs, toxic relationships, etc…you just won’t be able to. And in a weak moment if you happen to dabble in your old ways, it just won’t feel right anymore. I am so very thankful for every heartbreak in my life. Working through that heartbreak has always catapulted me to a higher level, a new peak. I know it is nearly impossible to be grateful for failures while you are in the trenches but if you get one thing out of this post I hope it is this, “Sometimes a door slammed in the face creates just the right gust of wind to turn you in the right direction.” You have the power and fortitude to be anyone and anything you so desire…Love, Erin Simone